An Ethical Question About Roommates?

Ok. My good friend moved to desolate hell hole of a town where she knew one person. That person joined the military and left. For weeks she was really unhappy and lonely. So, as school was finishing up and my lease was coming to a close, we had talked about me moving down there and splitting a 2/bedroom house or apartment until she got her finances together and was able to leave. At worst I thought I’d be in for three months.

Just recently my friend has gotten into a relationship. Great for her. She still wants me to come down and split a house/apartment with her and her boyfriend.

I don’t want to. I’ve had plenty of roommate experiences. Currently I’m living with five other people. But still I would never move in with a couple. Roommates are supposed to be autonomous and have free range over the premise. The magna carta of that arrangement is from the fact that each individual has one voice. But a couple is two people with one very strong voice.

So if I move up there I’ll be not only the third wheel, but also outweighed in every single house issue. As well, no doubt, as gaining the pariah status just for being not a couple. I don’t think it will work, and I think the parameter of the moving has changed. She’s no longer alone, she’s in a relationship.

I’m happy for her. But I wouldn’t live with a couple anywhere. Even in New York city or London or Tokyo I’d be weary to rent with a couple. Because you’re not renting “with” a couple. You’re renting “from” a coupe. And that’s the only way I can see it.

Plus, its not like I’m going to be hanging out with my friend. I’ll be hanging out with the couple. When he’s busy or running an errand then I can spend time with her. (Not even to get into why anyone would want to move in with a partner that quickly). So for many reasons I want to call off the move.

But ethically I feel bound by it. And my friend has expressed the desire that I come down. But the desire, as we all know, has drastically changed as soon as a boyfriend came into the picture.

Ethically. and pragmatically, what are your suggestions?

But again, this is a very good friend. And I don’t have a problem with an extra roommate. I just problem with a the third roommate being her boyfriend.